It gets better

I have been reflecting a lot on the past few years of my life.  Between the crazy amounts of surgery, losing 4 sweet babies, 2 difficult pregnancies, cancer, many health issues, a hysterectomy at a young age and all that brought, a sick baby, job loss, moving, and so, so much more.

There were points in all of it, that I wasn't sure it would ever get better.  I worried it would be like that forever (flashback to David at the Dentist anyone?) and that I would never be happy, or healthy again.  It's a despair I cannot explain, to feel that way, but one I think we can all relate to at some point.  It seems worse in a way to see your children hurting, because you not only feel it for yourself, but you feel it for them too, and it's a different kind of pain.

I was working on our family Christmas letter the other night, and reflecting on all of our struggles the past year, but the things that hit me the strongest was all of the times we were so blessed, and God's hand in our lives.  It all could have ended so differently, and could have been so, so, much worse.

At the end of each trial, struggle, and terrible tragedy we have been through there came a point of relief, and peace.  For some it took a very long time. Some I am still working on, and some we are still in the thick of.  But, for the ones that came, there isn't much like it.  The end is bittersweet, and there is a kind of beauty that comes with it that I cannot describe.  It is then, my friends, when you see how blessed you were, how protected you were, and how much you grew.  You see your strength, and when that moment comes, you see that your trial, was actually a blessing.  A blessing used to make you into who you needed to be.

I recently came to the end of a very big trial for me.  Now that I am on the other side of it, I still feel some pain, but I feel so much peace.  I know that I am better for it, and I am so grateful that I was guided through some of the most dark days of my life.

I just feel a need to remind people, that it really does get better.  Life is hard.  It's supposed to be.  We are born to change and grow.  We weren't meant to stay stagnant, and with that comes pain.  It is natural, and it is part of the circle of life.  It is part of the plan, and it is why we are here.  But it does get better.  We are so blessed to have moments when we realize it is better, that we are better for it.

It really, really does get better.  I promise...